Title: RMAG November Board of Directors Meeting
Publication: The Outcrop, January 2010, p. 23
Author: Jay Leaver, Secretary
The Board of Directors met on Thursday, November 19th instead of Wednesday as is customary just to see if the Secretary was paying attention in the opening paragraph. Hah! Stupendous Secretary Man is not to be caught napping so easily! (Except by my boss the other afternoon, while I was my mild-mannered alter-ego, so it didn’t count.) The meeting was held in the conference room of the University Building, instead of at the Rock Bottom like I wanted. (Stupendous Spandex blends in better there.) The next regularly scheduled BOD meeting is to be December 11 (when the current Superheroes meet their replacements), and they’re actually going to serve the outgoing Board lunch, so just remember that when Sandi gives you a call and asks if you’d like to stand for office for RMAG. I did, and it’s changed my life: before, I was too shy and retiring, and got stage-fright even thinking about writing an article in front of a big crowd. But that’s all changed now that I’m Stupendous Secretary Man!
When the scene opened on the November Meeting, it was clearly not like other BOD meetings. There were actually people there, and not RMAG members, either. Instantly, SSM’s super senses were on the alert. I recognized agents of the DGS*! Surely a momentous battle between the Sciences was imminent, and wouldn’t you know it, I’d left my Stupendous Secretary Pen (mightier than any sword) back in my secret hideout. But the DGS agents were calling a truce: they asked us to join forces and together fight the evil Recession Man by exchanging advertising space. I saw through the trick at once: whoever reads The Record? But the Board was taken in by the wily agents and agreed to a one-year trial period. Beware Wiggle People! SSM’s replacement will be watching!
Another of the strangers lurking on the sidelines of the conference table turned out to be a Senior VP agent of COGA**! They too, were seeking an alliance with RMAG against Recession Man. They offered to split costs for next year’s joint meeting in proportion to attendance, rather than 50-50 as in previous years. Mighty nice of them, sneered SSM quietly, since their attendees regularly outnumber our attendees by two or three to one! All they really want is our Speakers, because why else would anyone go to a COGA meeting?
I was shocked when Randy Ray mentioned he’d been to the COGA meeting this year, when they soloed without RMAG, and found it to be really interesting. What is the world coming to?
The final stranger at our meeting turned out to be none other than that great mastermind, Mr. Investment Fund Manager. He masterfully explained how Recession Man had attacked us and sapped our resources, and how we could fight back by strategic asset allocation. SSM breathed a sigh of relief: with such wise leadership, a precautionary investment in cash, and a whole lotta luck, the financial world could be saved again.
The Board of Superheroes gathered to bid adieu to one of their own: the Stupendous First VP, Genevieve Young, is leaving to take up the battle in England and Australia. Tough break! thought SSM. That just sounds terrible! But we all had some farewell carrot cake, and I got crumbs in my Spandex skivvies.
*DGS = Denver Geophysical Society
**COGA = Colorado Oil and Gas Association